Self Care: 2020 is the year to do it! The first technique is awareness. Practicing this art is simply focusing on our internal emotions, without judgement, and recognising the positive and negative feelings we are having. Also to focus on the outer World around you, your environment and your social groups. What the media are feeding you and to be aware how these exterior actions can impact your emotional wellbeing.
Be aware of what you eat, what your food choices are and how you eat. Do you shovel the food into your mouth and forget about enjoying the flavours? Are you conscious of chewing to make it easier to digest and get the best nutrients to help replenish and recharge your battery? If you imagine yourself as a mobile phone, which should be easy as pretty much everyone in society now has one, we are all very aware of when our phone is charged and when it’s in the red and we desperately look to find somewhere to charge it!.
It surprises me that we take so much care of our phones' welfare than we do our own. We protect the phone with a cover so it doesn't crack when we drop it or carelessly place it down. We buy new covers to be fashionable and individual. When it's going slow we update it we reconnect it to source and we get rid of things in the phone that no longer serve us. Maybe an old picture, videos, etc. We delete so we can have more space and more data to enjoy the new present moments with our phone. Wow all this energy on a phone, so let’s flip this and take the attitude of the mobile and replace it with the self.
Recharge yourself throughout the day: Simple breathing exercises, counting in for four through your nose, then slowly exhaling to the count of four, through your nose. Breathing correctly can have a huge impact on you emotionally and physically, plus you’re breathing in the good stuff! The oxygen which is vital to our survival. When we breathe out we release and let go of the toxins, the carbon dioxide, the negativity.
Trauma can affect us all in many ways. Sometimes we don't realise it but we can be affected, in our early years, from conditioning from our peers. Maybe a teacher said you were stupid or not good enough for instance, or when you sang in front of your school, your “friends” all laughed at you. That negative energy can leave an imprint or blockage in your system and this could be the route cause to you not achieving your current goals. This is because internally you haven't healed those traumas and now those same traumas have created an internal dialogue in your mind. So when you do want to have a go at singing you get this anxiety of not feeling good enough, scared that people will laugh at you. Maybe you want that new new job but that voice says you’ll never get it because you’re stupid. All this because of something that someone possibly said to you in your past and it’s left this imprint, this blockage inside your energy system that always seems to appear when you want to change something significant in your life and these internal voices won't let you.
Now a lot of this comes from the ego whispering to you saying: “Stay in the job you are doing because we know that you are good at that and nobody will laugh at you. I’ll keep you safe from the World.” Now the Ego is coming from a loving place but truly it is hindering our natural development to grow and develop as a human being. A good exercise is bringing in a new dialogue and saying to yourself in the form of a best friend (as we can all relate to that). The voice should remind you that it doesn't matter if you get it wrong and it doesn't matter if you get it right. What matters, above anything else, is that you are doing it in the first place . Remember that as humans we are hardwired for negativity, so we have to rewire ourselves for positivity.
Releasing and letting go is a way to say goodbye to those past traumas and blockages.
I'm not asking you to forget. In fact it would be wise for you to remember! However, if you let go of the energy that still causes you pain, you can move forward successfully and become a stronger, more wiser person.
In time you’ll become more confident because you would have learned from the pain of your trauma. The time it takes and the process of healing will depend on the individual and the trauma. It's not a race, it's a journey - a process that we should all respect because the long term outcome is where we want to be. Really hold on to that end goal, even if you are not there yet. Visualization meditation is incredibly powerful!
1 - Start By Releasing And Letting Go Of The Small Things.
Momentum is a powerful tool to use. Do you remember that old school physics lesson when you had the toy car and you let it go down a ramp? The greater the angle of the ramp, the greater the car picked up speed due to gravity pulling it closer to the ground. The car went faster and faster until it came to a natural stop. Start with small things, for instance maybe someone owed you £50 and they didn’t pay it back and it's been going on for weeks. Instinctively you feel you are not getting it back, but you’re holding on. Maybe you are angry, or upset. You feel let down so now you have built up this negative energy in your system.
So here’s the thing - that energy is only affecting you! Not that person who you lent £50 to in the first place. They are oblivious to the impact it's having on you and now you’re getting more frustrated. You start not to trust. You don’t want to lend any money to anyone anymore.
Maybe it’s a car driver who took your car parking spaces that you had waited for? Or someone that pushed in front of you whilst you were politely waiting your turn at a bar? When you release and let go, you relinquish the power that they or their actions have had over you. This act is you actually being aware. So make it a statement to yourself and put it out there. Say “I am ready to let go of… and I thank myself and my awareness”. Make it audible to yourself and put it out there!
2 - Write It Down & Put It In The ‘Fuck It’ Bucket!
How to get it out of your head: Write it down! This is a simple exercise that has been used for years.
Firstly, start by writing down the names of those who have hurt you. Now by doing this you are physically channelling it out of your head and onto a piece of paper in written form. Then take the list, place it into an envelope and then burn it. This is you letting go and sending it into the universe, burning away the negativity until it turns into ash and disappears.
I always like to say thank The Universe for helping me to let go. To release and send it out to The Universe, to turn into loving energy. It has quite an amazing way of making you feel better because you are following a process. Just be careful that you don’t burn yourself! Once it was suggested to me to put that envelope in the freezer so you could freeze the problem and deal with it at a later date... but you could run the risk of just ignoring it, which means it will come back eventually. Maybe in a different guise.
One time a friend of mine did that: They wrote down on paper the name of an ex, who kept bothering her, and put it in her freezer. The effect was truly amazing. He didn’t bother her at all, for 4 years, even though he had been persistent. Her life was better with him not in it... but one day her freezer broke and that undid the action of freezing this particular person out of her life. Two days after the freezer broke that ex got in contact. It seemed out of the blue... just after the freezer had broken. So she did the burning and hasn’t any more contact. It shows you either need to deal with it and let go, or accept what happened, learn from it ,and let it go.
Another fabulous one is put it in the ‘Fuck it’ Bucket.’ Again writing it down and placing it into a bucket and throwing it away.
3 - Wash It Away.
Allow the wonderful element of water to wash those negative feelings away. I often thank The Universe for cleansing my soul and washing away any negativity. Start each day afresh with an open mind and a protective shield.
Protecting your energy is so important... which is another blog but this can help you and prevent negative attachments in the first place! So worth learning and using. Showering, especially after a bad day, can really help you use your imaginative skills to wash away any name calling, mistakes or anyone that has upset you. I like to personally turn down the temperature and awaken my body after the cleansing.
A bath - which I recommend adding Magnesium Flakes to help energise your body and ease any muscle aches. Swimming - which also releases endorphins through exercise especially in natural water, like the sea or lakes rivers, where safe to do so. Swimming baths are good but try to find ones that use less chlorine as this affects us as it’s a chemical. Steam Baths or Saunas as these physically removes toxins and you can enjoy visualising these emotional toxins coming out through the pores of your body.
4 - Use Smudging
I love using herbs and traditional remedies that have been passed down from our ancestors.
White sage is often used by Native Americans. A tradition that is so incredibly powerful top CEO’s will employ personal smudging or smudging in their work spaces or homes to cleanse the area and rid it from negative energy. imagine it like a jet wash - cleaning away the exterior negative energy. I often use this method when giving someone Reiki, especially the first time we have a session, as I want to help clear any negativity they may be holding on to and also any negative energy from others that they have inherited or absorbed because they are an empath and have not protected their own energy. What the smoke from the embers does is it cleanses the room and dissolves the energy and takes it away into The Universe and sends it out with love.
5 - Palo Santo Sticks (Holy Wood)
I love working with these beautiful gifts from the Earth. Palo Santo literally means holy wood. In Peruvian culture these sticks are burnt similar to how we burn incense sticks and white sage - the natural oils release a beautiful, uplifting smell. If I’m tired I will often use this as a pick me up, a bit like an espresso. Through it’s true power it is helping you to release and let go of internal negative energy by cleansing your internal energy system. Simply burning the end of the stick for less than a minute, then blowing it out it, releases this incredible smell from the natural oil inside the wood. By breathing in it’s essence it will help heal internal, emotional blockages when we are on the process of releasing and letting go. This is often used in meditation. The oil that is burnt releases it’s healing qualities and can help heal flu and cold like symptoms. Which is actually your body purging, releasing and letting go of toxins and negativity energy. Palo Santo is a great healer and has been used by priests, shamans and tribes in Peru and Ecuador for centuries.
6 - Wind Power
I love the air. It's such a powerful element. If it's stormy and windy I like wrap up warm, to protect myself from the elements, and get out there and embrace the wind. I ask for the wind to blow away and release any old negative feelings and cobwebs and to breathe in new oxygen, the new positivity, and let go of the carbon dioxide, the negativity.
7 - Meditation
Meditation on releasing and letting go. There will be many variations on guided meditation and it will certainly involve you imagining that you're letting go in some form or another. I often like to use the mediation where you imagine you are sitting at a desk with a pen and paper and listing down the names of those who have hurt you intentionally or unintentionally. Old teachers, friends, family members, work colleagues or school friends. When you have completed the list, fold up the paper and place it in an envelope, seal it and write on the envelope. “To the Universe” Send it to the universe imagine and visualise yourself posting it in a letter box, and inside the letter box is the universe and then give thanks for releasing and letting go “Thank you for helping me to release and let go”. I often offer two choices for people in guided meditation: To either post to the letter to the universe or place the envelope back in the draw, for another time. Some people aren't ready to release just yet but it's a good start to become aware and name those who have affected you. This is beginning the conversation with ourselves which is so important! Often I hear people have posted the letter and physically have a release - usually through tears. It can surprise people with the names that they are writing - as sometimes it can be their children, their loving partner, even themselves! We can all say hurtful things when we are upset or vulnerable. For those who haven't posted you can practice this technique until you have posted that letter. Often we hold onto unkind words that made us feel that we are less than, I remember once being laughed at for singing and it really affected me. It gave me low confidence and a fear of failure and of being laughed at.
Children can be cruel and don't really know the true extent of how words can affect others. This also includes ourselves. Often we can be our own bully, and that's where awareness can help you, because it's important to know where first to start the healing process.
Wisdom = valuing things you have in life while you have them
If your holding onto the things that you don’t like you forget and don't value the things that you do have so let go and release